To Macie

Dear Macie,

It's been over five years now since you ran away with Theodore to the north. I was barely twelve years old when I saw you last. I'm happy you and your husband got out when you did. You were pushing twenty and had yet to bear any children. When I worked in the house serving meals, I would overhear Master talking about selling you down south. You barely did any work (I still laugh thinking about all the times you tricked Mistress into thinking you were too stupid to understand her directions) and were almost surely barren. These white folks really talked about us like we don't have any sense or any guts to communicate with each other. They still do.

A few months ago, Master married me off to Joseph. He's expecting us to have a child real soon. But Macie, I really can't stand Joseph and haven't laid with him once. Thomas and I have been in love for over a year now, and I'm pregnant with his baby. Joseph doesn't like me much either; he says I'm lazy and chubby and got a smart mouth. If he finds out I'm pregnant, I have no doubts that he would tell on me.

I haven't started to show, but I think it's been about two months now. I need help, Macie. Find a way to get a letter or message back to me. If the rumors are true -- that you and Theodore have had three children and have one on the way -- then I know you weren't barren. I know you knew how to get rid of a child you didn't want, a child you couldn't have. The older women won't help me. I know they know lots of things about herbs and remedies, but they're so religious and will have no sympathy for me getting pregnant with another man's child. I'm not looking to run away or anything, at least not yet. I'm not nearly as strong as you. But please help me do something about this.

With much love,
Jenny


**written in reference to "Ar'n't I a Woman" (Deborah Gray White)