Dear Emily,
Your words mean so much me. Although my rape happened almost sixty years ago, it breaks my heart to know that black women are still victims of sexual assault at the hands of police officers and other men, in positions of power and otherwise. However, it was the necessity to create a language for the psychological terrorism white men have afflicted upon black women since we were brought to this country that gave me the courage to testify in the first place. Had I not done so, I fear that this violence would continue to go unrecognized by society at large.
I like to think that I still would have testified even if there had not been a massive outrage supporting me, but I honestly am not sure. Back then, we did not have the understanding your generation does of "re-traumatization" during the cross examination process for sexual assault cases. I often broke down back home with my family or all alone late at night, when the emotional barrier I was able to keep up during the trial shattered. I had the same experience when I heard about that poor woman's murder, and my recurring nightmares came back full force. The mass outrage that I had during the trial had dissipated at that point, which made this point in my life especially difficult. However, I did find moral support in the other black woman and black femme activists I surrounded myself with, who reaffirmed the inherent value of my life.
As far as advice goes, I believe the movement for justice for black women is already in good hands. I was moved to tears the first time I heard about #SayHerName. And that encapsulates so much of how I would answer your question: never forget about black women and the fullness of our humanity.
Sincerely,
Betty Jean Owens
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