Dear Mrs. Hayes-Rore,
I was wondering why it is so difficult to talk about issues of race, intermingling, and adultery. What makes these topics forbidden? It's not inherent to their nature--it's only the culture that dictates these rules. My mother was a young immigrant, blind to these issues. But she's not the one who has to live with the consequences of her actions.
As I somewhat petulantly told you about my family, I was afraid. I watched your face harden as I felt mine stiffen in embarrassment, shame, and defense. The tension in both our faces is a sign that these are issues that beg attention. Whenever we feel defensive, we must ask why. These issues will not resolve themselves through suppression, through burial, and through a sweeping subject-change. It's like the shadow that looms on the wall--do we avoid the shadow or the object that casts the shadow? Just because we "cannot" talk about things does not mean that they are not there. They just are.
Sincerely,
Helga Crane
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